


For the Love of Justice

by Genie60



Series: A Very Bad Thing [2]
Category: Poldark (TV 2015), Poldark - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion piece to "Backhanded Justice".  My take on Demelza's point of view based strictly on the BBC trailer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For the Love of Justice

She walked into the house, leaving him on the ground. She didn’t look back because at this point, she didn’t care.   _Let him lay there in pain and suffer for a bit just as she had the night before_ , she thought.  She didn’t know where the force came to hit him except that it must have been years of pent up frustration at his unending obsession with this woman who just wouldn’t go away.   She knew when he stormed out the previous night where he was going and what the outcome would be.  And she couldn’t stop him. Not only that, she knew he didn’t want to be stopped.  This thing needed to happen so maybe, just maybe they could move on with their lives. Whether that was a life together or apart remained to be seen. 

She will concede that his voice as he tried to explain and apologize sounded less sure and more contrite. Is it possible that what he expected to be the culmination of a long lost love was less than satisfying? She would never ask nor did she want to dwell on what actually happened between her husband and Elizabeth; that thought had made her physically ill this morning when she realized he hadn’t come home. No, she wanted no details. In fact she didn’t know what she wanted except to knock some sense into him and make him hurt just as she did. Hopefully she was able to do that a few minutes ago. 

Demelza didn’t realize she was shaking nor did she notice the tears until she went to Jeremy, content in his cot and bent down to pick him up. He squirmed and reached up when he saw his mother and looking at her beautiful son, wept some more for he was the very image of his father. Could this be the end of her life at Nampara?  She could swear she felt her heart literally break in her chest, the pain was so sharp and deep. 

Ten years she had been here. Ten years she had spent growing from urchin to maid to lover to wife to mother. She had borne the brunt of his anger when she confessed her part in Verity’s elopement as well as when he found out she nursed his cousin and now his lover, back to health from the putrid throat.  And when she herself was on the brink of death, had put her faith in him and their love to bring her back.  And then Julia died, leaving them bereft, empty and hopeless.  Yet she tapped into her strength to see him through his grief and stood by him as he went on trial for crimes he did not commit all the while putting her feelings aside for him.  She watched as they fell into the depths of poverty only to pull themselves up again with the help of his now deceased cousin Francis. There’s the rub; for if Francis had lived, last night would never have happened.  An ironic a twist as if Ross had not gone to war for then she wouldn’t be here as his wife.

Demelza held Jeremy close, rocking him soothingly not for his sake but hers. She needed to feel warmth and a connection to another human being because at this moment she was cold down to her soul and felt so very alone. She was the outsider, the miner’s brat and impudent trull who dared to enter his world simply because she loved him.  If there was a break, and he chose Elizabeth, she would be left with nothing; no friends, no home, no life.  She would just have Jeremy because she would never let that woman raise her son.  No, she would pack her things and go back to Illugan and make a life there.  Alone, for she would never want another man. She had told him as much before his trial when it was thought he might hang.  He was her reason for living and he had all but snuffed that life with his actions of the past 24 hours.

Lost in thought she did not hear the door open or the footsteps that followed so she had no idea anyone was around until her son cooed at doorway. Turning her head she saw her husband and cursed silently to herself.

He cut the same handsome figure he did all those years ago when he rescued her and she despised him for it. She wanted to hate him but found instead that she was numb.  There was no feeling of either hate or love in her at the moment.  Perhaps that was better because then she couldn’t feel the pain. Without realizing it she let out a cry that startled Jeremy and caused Ross to come flying into the room to take him from her arms. 

Looking up she saw her husband, the love of her life, holding their son as he tried to console him from her outburst. Staring into his eyes, she saw something she wasn’t prepared for. She expected guilt or regret for what he’d done; that would be assumed for most men.  However, Ross Poldark was not most men and he never admitted to either of those weaknesses no matter what the circumstance.  Perhaps she thought she’d see hurt as a result of her attack. That would make sense.  What she didn’t expect to see was pain; the same pain she was sure was reflected in her eyes. Even worse, she didn’t expect to see love. Staring back at her from the chocolate eyes of her husband, lover and partner was warmth and damn him, love.  She was glad he was in pain; this kind of ache should be shared especially by the person causing it.  It was the love she wasn’t ready to see.  Demelza was certain that any love he felt for her had been left somewhere between Nampara and Trenwith, only to be replaced by the resurrection of his original love. But that was not the case. It was still there, as clear and pure as ever; this love he had for her.  Just as she had seen for the first time on that Christmas night all those years ago. He still loved her.   

The sad part was Demelza was not sure she could still love him. At least not at this moment.  At this moment she refused to let his love for her turn into her love for him. She wasn’t ready and from initial reports, might not be for a very long time. It was almost a feeling of déjà vu although this time she was the one who might not be able to forgive.  And that surprised her because she would never have believed that she had it in her to hate like this.

She stood up and walked past him, needing to be somewhere else where she could breath. She said nothing as she walked away, but rather left him standing there to wonder. Was this the end?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Another quickie sprouting from continued viewing of the S2 trailer and massive Poldark overload.  
> Not beta'd or anything. Just off the cuff.


End file.
